Friday, April 24, 2009
aftermath
Exams in 16days.. Everyone already started revising.. I have yet to even plan mine. Probably exhausted after prelims and everything that has been happening recently.. it seems like exams always comes in when you have the least time to prepare for it.. or probably I should say the problem lies in me.. Monday, monday will be the day I recant all the enthusiasm I had for prelims and hopefully I can score equally well..
Aftermath.. consequences.. repercussions..
I seriously feel the aloofness between us ever since that incident.. All i can say is.. I truly regretted what I did.. Things arent the same now.. she no longer yearn for phone calls to acc her home after work.. she no longer insisted on having the 3 words I say to her every night before sleep..I'm missing that smile on her that used to show blissfulness between us..
Probably she needs some time.. and some time for me to sort myself out too.. I need to stop doing whatever that makes me a possessive jerk.. hopefully, things can get convalesced very soon..
I need to get over this crunch time fast!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
the unforgiven
Today, I did the unforgiven.. I raised my voice at her, together with all the anxiety that one could ever have. I shall not discuss how it actually happened, all I can say is.. everything came all of a sudden, I didnt have time to react.. and I certainly didn't wish to do that as well..
Possessiveness is seriously a big time killer for me.. It seems to be embedded in me and sometimes I do things without realising that its so wrong until its time to face the aftermath.. I know that I should be grateful that after so many things I've done, she's still being so forgiving from time to time..
I'm feeling so screwed up now.. gosh, what have i done..